January Blues

What a weekend. Finished my John Hopkins application, which is now in the mail. And in my infinite wisdom, I realized (while filling out the Hopkins application) that I had been answering a very important question on the previous applications as "No," which should have been "Yes." I won't bore you with the exact details, but I think it's sufficient to note that this incorrect answer could very well cost me an acceptance as far as the Graduate Schools are concerned. So I spent all of Sunday afternoon and evening poring over my previous 10 submitted applications to see which ones I gave incorrect information to and which ones I did not. As far as I can tell, only three schools have been impacted, which I frantically emailed last night, begging them to change the information. I have no idea if this can be done, as all three are well past their deadlines, but I don't know what other recourse I have. As of this post, I haven't heard anything back.

So you can imagine how much of a nervous wreck I am now. Three schools in limbo (one of which I'd give an arm and a leg to go to), all of which I still have no idea what to do with. Top it off with a horrible anger and disgust with myself that makes me want to punch a wall and tear my hair out.

Add to this, all the various resources and websites that will tease you unmercifully with thoughts and fantasies of school acceptances. We've entered the perilous "dead time" period where all we have to do in the month of January (and February) is wait, wait, wait. And what do we all do with this free time? We go to The Suburban Ecstasies and check out the Application Response Time list. We browse the Speakeasy Forum and read the ever popular Have you heard yet? thread from beginning to end. We do whatever we can to pour salt into our wounds and torture our fragile psyches. Why do we do this? I don't know. All I know is that as much as I had promised that I'd stay as far away as possible from these websites to preserve what little sanity I have left, I know that I'll probably be reading them daily. What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment.